you make me anxious

and tell me your ways are the right ways

you make me shred my cuticles

and tell me this is how I’m supposed to feel

you make my hair fall out

and tell me there’s no other way without you

you make me lay in bed at night, questioning if all of this is worth it

and tell me this is normal

just as I begin to believe you, that I simply have to learn your name and waste my endless days amidst you

I encounter a way out

out of how awful you make me feel

out of how pointless you make me feel

I find a life without you

a higher place, where you don’t subsist

above you, gazing down upon you

not once craving what I once had

not once studying you again

because you were never worth my time in the first place