ocd for me – a tale of what if’s

Poem by Shawkin Kabir ’21

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thoughts around and around
a runaway train in my mind
can’t make it stop
what if this happens
or that

something bad 
because of me?
nono it can’t happen
it can’t be

walls closing in
hard to breathe
did it rain 
on my face?

line of thoughts 
running faster than me
haha maybe should’ve taken
gym next year
nice try—a joke can’t make this
stop

it’s not about wanting
something neat
it’s exhausting 
it hurts 

what if 
what if 
what if

and 

why me
why me
why me

but 

no no
i’ve learned what to do
i’ve practiced
it’s better than before 
i know who i am and what to do

A Station Appears 
And now i’m the conductor 
The train has stopped 
And guess what
i win:)

Poem by Shawkin Kabir ’21

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